Eric Robert

How does someone push everyone away, and then complain about being all alone? That’s like me sticking my hand in a fire, then complaining about my skin being burned. Hypocrisy is a plague upon our generation that I fear won’t be wiped out until we gorge ourselves to death on LSD, hand sanitizer, and KFC double downs. But don’t worry, I’m sure the rest of you will be able to read all about our shitty generation’s demise via twitter, see photographic evidence via instagram, and discuss it via Facebook. After all, being whiny pricks with an overinflated, hypocritical sense of self-worth is the nucleus of my generation. Now, somebody reblog this so I can feel like I did something important.

the-nard-cat:

I really hate when people say “what did I do to deserve this?” Nothing, fucktard. What you deserve and what happens to you are two totally different things that are unrelated. Everything is random. If people got what they deserve I’d have a mansion made of chocolate that I could eat without getting fat and I’d be able to reach orgasm by blinking.

　

Bam!

So, I’m pretty thoroughly convinced that the zombie apocalypse has officially started in Florida. And I, for one, couldn’t be more…excited. I feel like my 27 years on this earth have been leading up to this moment. I’ve been having so many serious conversations (more like strategy meetings) with friends about what we’re gonna do in the coming weeks, if and when the media stops lying and tells it like it is. Let’s do this.